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Keisok
Not that much to say about me to be honest.

Age 32, Male

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Delaware

Joined on 8/16/06

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The Nature of the Flash Portal and What Passes and Fails

Posted by Keisok - March 26th, 2015


This site has had a unique feature called the portal for years. It in theory kept content in a quarantine where the people would look at it and then decide if it should pass or be gassed and thrown in the pile. Allegedly this is to prevent chaff or spam from getting in, and I've seen this mechanic be bandied about by the more... damaged users here as a sign of how this place is superior than other sites. But in reality the system is a joke and it rarely gets implemented, moreso now that the site is catering to the DeviantArt mindset of pure asspats. It takes a lot here to make someone actually willing to shitcan a flash here. I've been on this site for years (a thought that horrifies me upon reflection), and I've noticed that only the following will get canned:

Unfinished Loops: Basically stuff that tend to be very short and clearly unfinished. Typically what happens here is that someone decides to fuck about in Flash for like maybe an hour at most. They just have one short scene, and since they don't bother to code it or line up something, it just is a jagged loop. The speds who are big into Madness are probably the most guilty of this type, using a character sheet and just having them fire a single gun. Thankfully this gets blammed more often than not, although some do squeak on by due to things only the dead know.

Malware: Basically content that intentionally fucks with the viewer's stuff. This is always removed on site by the staff, since this shit actively hurts the userbase. It's probably the only stuff that is consistently blammed/removed.

Broken Beyond Repair: This type of flash refers to games or movies so broken that they actually don't play, or they're basically unplayable as is. I think this and the first category are the only two that usually gets blammed by the userbase; more often than not, it's the mods that do the work.

Stolen: Content that's stolen of course. These get removed by the staff as well, usually before it passes the portal.

Unrelated: Videos where some idiot decides that this site is perfect for a non art/animation piece like a Let's Play or a vlog. This is also removed by the mods usually.

Is it sad that most of the garbage that I listed is removed by staff and not by the people? I think it is. Now that I've covered the stuff that will get removed/blammed, let's get into the stuff that's usually safe:

Animu Parodies: The`se are pretty safe choices to upload, as many people here on the userbase are kookoo for cartoons from the glorious land of Nippon. You do need to usually put in enough effort to make a short little joke, but you can cut corners all you like. Waist up shots to not draw legs? Yep. Focus on the head and mouths to skimp on animation. Sure. Not need anything more advanced than your laptop mic? Can do. Not even fucking color it in? You betcha. Trace from others? You'll get called out on it maybe, but it'll pass. It takes a sheer lack of effort for you to fail to get in; I mean, you can literally poo out your stuff in a day and it's still likely to get a two. So long as you have the anime, you're probably fine.

Shovelware: If you have a game that has been done more times than a hooker in the Red Light District, you're fine so long as you have an LLC label to show off before the game loads. You made it in Stencyl, the worst game engine known to man? Doesn't matter. It just another version of a game that's been uploaded thousands of times? It's cool. The quality control isn't perfect and bugs pop in? Doesn't matter. So long as the game is even marginally functioning, you should be fine. I've rarely seen these babies go below a two, so yeah, just fork out 75 dollars, do a logo in front of your shitty game you made in two days, and you're solid.

Game Grumps: You know, for a site whose userbase is so Tsundere towards its competition, I'm not shocked that LPers and E-celebs from there are big here. I mean, it's hilarious since not even a decade ago some edgelord would make a game where you'd shoot these guys in the face with a Barret .50 cal, but still. If you follow a similar pattern with your animu parody, you're fine. You actually can make these easier, since you can just grab their audio and just use that as your sound. Not joking. These usually are in the mid 2s too, so you actually have to try even less with these ones.

Crew Stuff: Ahh, the crews of NG. They're like an MCN, a Production studio, or a street gang if they were all run by an army of Rob Schneiders. Ribbing aside, if you're a part of a crew, don't worry. Your homeboys will cover you with their own votes, alts, or bots until your flash gets in guarantee'd. Like all street gangs, family is family, so in turn you might want to help your bros out. So long as you're not too much of a loser and you're in the crew, you're golden.

Speed Drawings: Call me an angry old man, but I do remember when this shit was liquidated from the site eons ago. Nowadays though they're accepted. To get these in, you will likely have to appeal to the base urges of this site of perverts and focus on sexy images to bolster your chances. This is especially the case if you are not that good. Make sure to at least have some sort of halfassed background too when you do these, since that usually adds like a point to your score if you're lucky. These fluctuate, but stay in the 2s and 3s. I've never seen them go above a four though, so if you are trying for quality, not a good approach.

Sprites: Ahh sprites. The lazy man's way to getting characters and assets without actually creating them yourself. Yeah, sprites can result in amazing pieces of work in the hands of an ambitious animator or someone with creativity, but nine times out of ten you are just going to be recreating an edgier type of Mario, a Sonic da Hedgehog thing with your shitty oc or some shitty Sonichu inspired multiverse. These are the easiest things in the world to produce. Just use Dragonball z sound effects, art assets you did not make, and text boxes since you don't need VAs for this shit, and instant pass.

That's about all I can really think of at the moment for this, so feel free to tell me why I'm wrong or a faggot or a moron by gibbering in the comments section.


Comments

I'm a little surprised you didn't mention all the Madness stuff that pops up. I don't mind during Madness day, but the rest of the friggin' year?!

Anyway, I try to Blam as hard as I can and as often as I can. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough or spending enough time on Judgement.

Well, the reason it's not on here is because Madness content is not usually guaranteed to pass or fail. I reference them a bit when I refer to those really short loops that usually get blammed, but the process is a bit hit/miss. I will admit I should've probably referenced how they are nearly unblammable during Madness Day though. Good observation.