Keisok's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Sonic - A New Enemy]

This is you in a nutshell: "Everyone else is wrong and I'm right." Seriously, when a clear majority of people have the same technical issues with your product, you fucked up; its not the other way around.

Oh, btw, before you go off and say my computer is shit, you'd be wrong as hell, since not only do I have a powerful quad-core processor (along with other such tech to back it up), but I also have a 60 Mbps connection. I have fiberoptics motherfucker, and your flash still lagged on my end. So clearly it's not a tech issue like you say, it's you being a jackass and not knowing how to export something functional. On top of that, you imply that you never checked the online version of your shoddy production. You just assume that since it works fine on your harddrive, then it's always fine.

I'd provide more examples on why you're wrong, but I know what would happen; you would get defensive and say that you're always right. Now I'm just going to sit back and watch as you call me a pussy or something stupid like that just because I didn't kiss your ass.

JamalF11X responds:

Actually the majority of people don't have a problem with this animation. The only ones complaining are indeed very few and you happen to be a part of that unsatisfied pussy minority.

I am aware that it lags a bit when it was uploaded on the website, that is why I said that the actual swf file runs perfectly fine on my laptop.I did verify my flash when it uploaded online you ignorant fucknugget and it was functional. However, on the other laptop I have, it didn't lag at all online because it has a very powerful processor with a high RAM. This fact concludes that you're wrong and that your computer is a pile of shit and your flash submission is a pile of shit as well. So how about this, go fuck yourself and bother someone else since I wouldn't give two shits about your useless, crooked and ignorant skull and of what you and others think of my flash. You on the other hand are just trying to stick up for your pussy friend because his points are full of shit and because you're a little bitch. Go smell a donkey's ass.

Go fuck yourself, CRAPFLASHCREW

http://z6.invisionfree.com/Skytowers/index.php?showtopic=155

[Newgrounds Portal: Alive]

This should be called "Stare at my FACE" instead of whatever this actually is called. This is not how you review, that is not the technology you use to make said review, and that is not the method you use to get your point across.

Reviews can be done in several ways, but they generally do cover what was good and what was bad with the subject material at hand. You failed this crucial task. At no point throughout your rambling, addled statements did anything resembling a point get made. When you fail to convey the ideas of the review itself, then you goddamn failed your review.

Second, let's talk tech. I'm not the type of asshole that insists you spend thousands or even hundreds of dollars on equipment; unless you're seriously going into business, there's no point. However, there's a fine line between adequate and atrocity. Guess which part of the spectrum you fall under. For fuck's sake, if you're going to do a video review, then get something better than an eye toy to record your footage. Seriously, this makes 8mm film from the sixties look good.

Third, a review mostly works by being informative and entertaining, and unfortunately you suck huge balls at both of them. I should not feel like I'm suffering an embolism while watching five minutes of footage. I should not have to sit there, watching your fat face, as you stare mindlessly into a light for like three minutes and then drunkenly explain nothing for the last two. If I want that, I'd go to a bar and chat with a frat boy.

In conclusion, you fail everything. I can't really say any more than that.